


I never told him ...

by ddelusionall



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Bathroom Sex, Cheating, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dubious Consent, Heartbreak, Loss of Trust, M/M, Manipulation, POV First Person, POV Shim Changmin, Teacher-Student Relationship, Trust Issues, Underage - Freeform, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-23
Updated: 2011-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23831242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Changmin trusts Yoochun, but then Yoochun betrays him, and Changmin learns the hard way that sex is meaningless and you should never let anyone close to you.
Relationships: Kim Jaejoong/Shim Changmin, Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Shim Changmin, Park Yoochun/Shim Changmin
Kudos: 2





	1. ... no.

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoochun meant everything to me, and I thought he felt the same about me. Obviously I was wrong.

**Warning: under18!Changmin, angst and no happy ending**

I'm not going to bore you with details of how it started. Or make you uncomfortable with details if you're one of those people that shies away from the truth.

Park Yoochun was my neighbor. His mom and my mom were best friends. He's almost seven years older than I am, and he first kissed me when I was ten. I knew it was wrong then, I know it's wrong now, but I've been in love with him my whole life.

A few times I almost told my mom. Yoochun would have gotten into a lot of trouble. And I never told him no.

We almost got caught more times than I can count.

I have no siblings, and Yoochun has a younger brother (still older than I am). Both of our moms were so happy that I saw them as my hyungs.

It always happened the same way. Yoochun would come over after school and talk to my mom about college and his studies, and I would sit at my room, at my desk, breath short, hands clammy, listening to the rumble of their voices. Yoochun's laughter made my head light. After a few minutes, Yoochun would ask where I was and then his feet would pound up the stairs. I waited for him at my desk, or I stood up and had my shirt half off when he opened the door.

And he shut the door, locked it and a moment later we were kissing and he was touching me and sometimes we had ten minutes, other times we had a half hour.

Yoochun kissed me and touched me until I was naked and on the bed underneath him. He rarely took all his clothes off. Usually he only unbuttoned his jeans and then hovered over me, stroking himself until he came all over my body. I loved the feel of it splattering on my chest, the way his eyes shut and he bit his plump lower lip. And then he muttered my name, groaned, _Changmin_ into the skin of my neck.

When he was done and recovered, he'd kiss me, so softly, whisper _I love you_ and start cleaning us up. And that was until I was twelve or so. After that we got each other off.

The first time he fingered me, I was thirteen, face pressed into my pillow, muffling my moans as his fingers pumped in and out of me.

I was in heaven, walking on clouds.

When Yoochun went to college, I felt like I was dying from a broken heart, but he called and texted me and when I was home alone, he would talk dirty to me and I'd stroke off wishing he was here. He came over during his vacations.

The only good thing about him being in college was that my grades improved.

At fifteen, my world ended.

I ran home from school, jacket flying behind me. Yoochun was home for three weeks. Three whole weeks. My heart felt like it was going to burst. For five years, Yoochun had told me that he wanted to have sex with me. But he was waiting until I was older, because he wanted me to like it. He wanted to show me how much he loved me. I was determined to let him while he was here.

I barrelled into my house, on my way to change my clothes. My mother laughed at something, and I turned my head enough to see in the kitchen and then stoppd in my tracks.

A girl I didn't know sat at the table, drinking a cup of tea.

I heard Yoochun's name, and then the girl laughed, eyes sparkling, and I glowered. Only I was supposed to look like that when laughing about Yoochun. My feet moved and I walked down the hall and into the kitchen.

My mom noticed me first. "Changmin, welcome home. Did you have a good day at school?"

I grunted in response, and my eyes only left the girl's face once. Long enough to look at her hand. At the sparkle on her ring finger. Cautious, slightly angry. I tried not to jump to conclusions.

"Changmin, this is Yoojin, Yoochun's fiance."

The world rush through me, the kitchen tilted.

Yoojin smiled. "Hi. Yoochun talks about you all the time."

I said nothing. I couldn't. My mouth was open and my eyes filled with tears. I hadn't ever cried. Ever. A door shut, and a voice from my dreams and my heart whispered my name. But I did not look at Yoochun.

I spun around and almost smacked into the wall as I ran up to my room. I tripped on the stairs, trying to cover my sobs, keep them inside until I could cry in my room.

Yoochun shouted my name.

I shut my door, but I slammed it too hard and it bounced open again, and before I could shut it Yoochun was there. I screamed nonsense at him and collapsed on my bed, fingers digging into the blanket as my heart shattered, and shattered, and shattered again.

A comforting hand touched the middle of my back.

"Don't touch me," I shouted, turning my head. "Get the fuck out. Don't fucking touch me."

Yoochun frowned at me. "Minnie-ah, what ..."

"Get out! Get out! Get out!"

Yoochun sat on my bed and tried to touch my face. I pulled my hand back and punched him. He gasped in surprise as he toppled off the bed. I curled in a ball, under my blanket and muttered, "Get out!" over and over.

I shivered when fingers ran through my hair.

"I guess I deserved that," he whispered. "I'll always love you, Min. I never meant ..."

"FUCK YOU!"

After another long moment, Yoochun left my room. The door clicked shut behind him.

I didn't come out of my room for three days.

After the third day, my mom sat on my bed. "Honey, why are you so angry at Yoochun? Because he didn't tell you?"

Part of my vindictive teenage pain almost told my mom. Almost. I'd been reliving every kiss, every touch, every moment over and over in my brain.

"Yoojin is really nice. She's good for Yoochun. A family girl, with hopes of children and--"

I scoffed and shut my eyes, turning my head away.

"Yoochun wants you to be his best man," she said, voice proud.

"Yoochun can fuck off," I muttered.

She smacked my head and reprimanded me for my language.

Knuckles wrapped on the door and Yoochun peered in. I met his eyes, let him see my heartbreak, like he could miss it, and then curled away and faced my wall.

My mom sighed.

"Let me talk to him," Yoochun whispered.

She left us alone. So trusting.

Yoochun sat on my bed. I had no energy to move when he touched my shoulder. "I have to do this, Minnie-ah."

I said nothing.

He sighed in frustration and I could imagine him running his hands through his hair, biting his lower lip.

"Would you have married her if you were fucking me?" I asked.

He said nothing.

"I hate you," I whispered.

"I'm pretty mad at myself right now too."

I spun around and looked at him harshly. "How long have you been fucking her, huh? Is she pregnant?"

"No, she's not. I love her."

"You love me."

"Of course."

"So the poor thing. As soon as you're bored with her, you'll find someone new."

He shook his head. God, when had his hair gotten so long? I wanted to touch it. I really did. I wanted to curl in his lap and have him tell me this was a joke that everything was a joke.

But then something else hit me as I stared at him. His eyes so full of guilt.

"How many?" I asked.

He shook his head again.

"How many?" I asked roughly, sitting up.

The bruise on his cheek from the last time I punched him was a dark purple. I was pretty close to adding another one to it.

"Does it matter?" Yoochun asked.

I blinked and felt more tears drip down my face. "You ... you played me. The whole time."

Yoochun shrugged. "I couldn't come out and say I had a thirteen year old boyfriend, now could I?"

"I was going to let you fuck me," I said. "I ... Get out of my room. I never want to see you again."

"I understand." Yoochun made no move to leave, and I lay back down, facing away from him. I shivered as his hand landed on my hip. "I love you, Minnie-ah. I never ... I never meant--"

"To hurt me? For me to find out? Which one?"

"Hurt you. I never meant to hurt you."

"Bitch," I muttered and held my pillow tightly. The bed shifted again, and lips pressed against my cheek. I cried as he left.

I went to school the next day and got on my knees for one of the older boys. Two weeks later, I was bent over a sink, losing my virginity to my math teacher. (And if you're a pervert like I know you are and you want to read about how that happened then go ahead and try not to like it too much.)

The day Yoochun and his fiance left to go back to college, I told my mom everything.

And she told Yoochun's mom.

And the marriage was cancelled, and I was shipped off to a boarding school while "the authorities" dealt with Yoochun. I don't know what that meant. He wasn't arressted, because I told my mom that I didn't want to press charges; part of me still loved him. But he fucked me over, so I did what I could to fuck him over.

I didn't mind boarding school. The teachers were smarter, they challenged me more. And my roommate's name was Jaejoong, and he didn't know what a blowjob was until I had him writhing and whimpering while I shoved his cock down my throat. (Again, I know you're a pervert, but this isn't as bad as my teacher fucking me, because Jaejoong and I are the same age. So if you want to know about my first time with Jaejoong, then go ahead and enjoy it. It was pretty comical.


	2. ... I was a virgin.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happened to me after Yoochun pretty much decided to be a dick.

**Warning: under18!Changmin, angst and no happy ending**

Water streamed into my mouth. I rinsed, trying to clear the tang of come from my throat. I spit into the sink and got another mouthful of water.

Sungmin's harsh voice echoed in my brain. _Slut, you cock whore. Who taught you to suck cock so good, bitch?_

It always reminded me of Yoochun. Always. And that made it hard for me to get off.

"Changmin, are you okay?"

My head shot up, eyes wide. Professor Junsu Kim. His face was worried for a moment and then his eyes widened in shock.

I glanced at my reflection and saw that I had come on my chin. My cheeks burned red and I ducked back down to wash it away. And now I could add humiliation on the list of shittiness today. My throat closed and I felt tears sting behind my eyes. With a growl, I wiped my eyes.

I scowled. "Y-yeah, I'm fine."

Professor Kim smiled and shook his head. "No you're not. You never skip class, and I know for a fact that you have English right now."

I met his eyes through the mirror. Kim Junsu was new this year. A new teacher with new ideas and the looks to melt his female students hearts. And some of his male students.

There was a smirk on his face, and the front of his pants bulged just enough to show he was growing hard in his pants. So Yoochun wasn't the only fucked up one. But I wanted to see that cock, so what did that make me?

_Slut. Cock whore. Bitch._

"How old are you, Sonsaengnim?" I asked, and licked my lips.

He tried not to smile as he answered me, "Twenty-eight."

I snorted and scrubbed my face with cold water. After Sungmin, I wasn't really in the mood for anything. Especially with a professor.

"What is wrong?" He actually sounded concerned. Maybe he was only acting. Trying to get into my pants by thinking he cared about me. I should have told him that he didn't have to try so hard.

I stared at my reflection, wondering where this was coming from, why I wanted to tell him about Yoochun. Maybe I just had to tell someone and the professor just happened to walk in on me at an emotional moment. I wondered if he was gay. Probably not.

"How old are you?"

I met his eyes through the mirror again. "Fifteen."

He smiled at me and I shivered, because god, he was hot. And his ass was like perfect. Two beautiful rounds that he shoved into perfectly tailored slacks. I never let myself do more than look at another man before. I had Yoochun.

_I had Yoochun._

Past tense. I bit my lip against an anguished cry and lowered my head.

I wasn't surprised when Professor Kim touched my back, rubbing softly. "Someone break your heart, Changmin-ah?"

I nodded. "Pretty much destroyed it, stepped on it and then burned it."

Both of his hands slipped under my school jacket, resting on my hips. His body pressed against mine. I shivered at the feel of his erection against my ass. This was all fucked up. Completely and utterly fucked up. Two weeks ago I was ready to give my virginity to a man I thought loved me and now I didn't care if this one fucked me instead.

When his fingers unbuttoned my pants, I finally looked up and met his eyes. He seemed amused and licked his lips.

"Just don't kiss me," I said as he pushed my pants and boxers to my knees.

"Now why would do I that?" He rubbed my bare ass. His fingers brushed my crack and I shuddered. I widened my stance, spreading my legs and he pressed his clothed erection to my ass.

"I can lose my job, Changmin."

"I won't tell."

"How do I know that?" he asked.

I watched as he pulled a condom from his wallet. I swallowed. "The man that broke my heart is almost twenty-three and he's been fucking around with me since I was ten. I won't tell."

Junsu's smile widened. He unzipped his pants and fished out his cock. But he took none of his clothes off. So similar to what Yoochun would do to me.

I wondered for a moment if I should tell him I was a virgin and then decided not to. I'd been waiting for Yoochun for so long, and now I just wanted to get it over with. I felt tears in my eyes again and dropped my head to between my head. He reached around me to a soap dispenser.

"This is going to sting," he warned and then two fingers slipped into my body, shoved into me deeply and then spread. The soap did sting, but nothing could hurt as much as Yoochun's betrayal.

He shoved a third finger into me, and I bit my lips against a cry of pleasure. My cock was hard, but I wasn't sure it would stay that way.

Junsu gathered more soap into his palm. The head of his cock pushed against my tight entrance. He cursed and thrust hard, tearing a cry from my throat. I lowered my head and bit down on my arm to keep from whimpering as he pulled out and tried again, and tried again.

"Fuck, you're tight," he said.

_No kidding._

It hurt, really badly, and I wondered how long I could handle it before begging him to stop. Every thrust pulled another whimper from me. When Junsu stopped, his cloth-covered body against mine, I took a deep breath. My body clenched around the intrusion of his cock. My breath hitched and I knew I was crying again.

"Been a while, huh?" Junsu asked, and I didn't bother to correct him.

He pulled out of me slowly, too slowly, drawing a low moan of pain from my throat. I didn't care. He moaned too and then pushed back in. A few more experimental in and outs and then he settled into a rhythm. My knee buckled and I had to hold myself up on the sink as a burst of pleasure surprised a gasp out of me. I felt my cock twitch, but then it was gone, and everything hurt again.

Junsu's breathing staggered, his thrusts sped up and then he was slamming into me, hard, erratic, crazy.

Everything hurt.

I pried my eyes open and watched him through the mirror. His eyes were trained on my ass, mouth open, tongue swiping over his lower lip. I wondered how many of his students he wanted to fuck. I wondered how many he would fuck before he got caught. His eyes shut and his body jerked violently. He cursed again, and then stilled for a moment before a spasm wracked his body and he stopped.

I lowered my head before he could open his eyes.

He pulled out and my sore body clenched around nothing.

Silence filled the bathroom, and his hand rubbed my ass lightly. "If you need to talk again, let me know."

I scoffed and said, "Sure thing, Professor."

He chuckled. I heard a zipper and then a moment later the door shut. I stood there with my pants at my knees for a little while longer. Slowly my body recovered. I moved to a stall to clean myself up. I touched my stretched entrance and moaned. My cock twitched and with an evil smirk, I stroked myself, getting hard fast. Four fingers easily entered me and I slid down the door for balance.

I pictured Yoochun in front of me, slamming my cock into his mouth, his face bloody and his hands tied up behind his back like the fucking asshole he was. The pain from my body blurred with the pleasure and I bit the back of my hand as I came hard, splattering come all over the floor.

Fucking asshole. I never told him no, but I could still fuck his life up just like he did mine. I cleaned up my mess just as the bell rang. I smirked.

I had math class next.


	3. ... I loved him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boarding school with a bunch of boys is a breeding ground for sex. And the best place to start is with your dorm mate. I like this place.

"God, who do you have to bribe to get a fucking blowjob around this place?" I demanded as soon as I walked into my dorm room.

My roommate Jaejoong jumped in surprise.

I threw myself on his bed with a growl. I was fucking horny. A school full of boys and I was horny because it seemed that most were more studious than they were sexual. They went to the library and actually studied. They went to the bathroom and actually used the facilities. I'd been at this school for three weeks and hadn't even been kissed yet.

How was it possible to shove so many boys in closed quarters and NOT have them experiment with each other?

"Huh?" Jaejoong said.

"What?" I replied.

"What did you say? A what?"

I turned just my head to look at him, only seeing through one eye since the other was pressed against the bed. "A what? What are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Huh?" I don't think I'd ever been so confused. I pushed up to my hands and sat on the bed staring at him.

Jaejoong had black hair, cut short, the ends just touching the top of his ears. He had pale skin, and a cute mouth with red lips. He was sixteen, just a few months older than I was. His grades and his clothes and his manners were all the same as his looks: perfectly flawless.

I'd already jerked off thinking of that beautiful face covered in come.

"Okay. Let's start over. What are you asking?" I asked.

"What did you say?" he replied. "When you came in you said something about bribery."

I repeated myself.

His head tilted in confusion. He sucked his lip into his mouth and bit down. "What's a blowjob?" he asked.

I made a noise of disbelief, mouth open in shock. "What's ... what's a ... you don't know what a blowjob is?"

He shook his head. "Is it some kind of toy or something?"

I laughed and stood up. "Oh yes, Jaejoong, it is definitely some kind of toy. Want me to show you?"

I was leering at him and his eyes widened and he shook his head. "N-no, I ... what? Minnie?"

I grabbed the back of his chair and spun him around. I forced my leg between his knees and then used a firm grip to spread them. I dropped to my knees.

"Chang-!" I rubbed my face on his crotch and he gasped. "W-what are ... what, Changmin, don't!"

"I'm showing you what a blowjob is," I said. I dug my elbows into his thighs and quickly undid his belt and pants.

"But ... this ... Changmin, sex, it's--it's ... what are ... oh god, what ..."

I shoved my hand into his pants. He moaned deeply.

God, even his cock was pretty flawless. A little on small the small side, but straight, hard, soft skin. The tip blossomed red, and I didn't stop to let him think about it. I sucked the crown into my mouth, running my tongue through the slit. He cried out, hips rising. Stiff fingers settled in my hair and pulled. Trying to yank me away, I bet, but I growled, the vibrations coursing through him. His cock pulsed and jerked, and I smirked.

"Oh, god, Changmin, Changmin, Changmin, Changmin!"

He went from pulling to egging me on, yanking my head up and down, jerking his hips up. Fucking my mouth. In less than three minutes, Jaejoong came. His fingers twisted in my hair. A whimper full of disbelief echoed around the room. He pumped his orgasm into my mouth, and then his body went limp.

I kept sucking on him, rolling his cock around my tongue. Just as I thought: he stayed hard and erect, even though his body was quaking from the sensitivity. I kept him in my mouth and unbuttoned my own pants. I was hard too, and god, I wanted his mouth on me.

"Changmin ... Min ... I ..."

I stroked myself, moaning around his erection. He whimpered and pushed my shoulder. I let his cock fall out of my mouth with a slurp. He blushed, cheeks bright red when he saw my dick.

"My turn," I said and pulled his arm.

Jaejoong wasn't expecting it and he was still woosy from the first orgasm. He fell to his knees. I gripped both of our cocks and stroked. He clutched at my shoulders, a half formed protest falling from his lips as his body shuddered in lust. I tangled my hand in his hair, messing up the styled perfection, and then held him firmly. I leaned away and pushed his head down.

He moaned, mouth opening and then shuddered as his tongue touched the head of my cock. I kept pushing. My cock hit the back of his throat and he gagged, but I didn't let him up. I rocked my hips, fucking his face. His hands grabbed my hips, trying to push me away again. He whimpered and moaned, vibrations shooting through my body.

I flung my head back as my orgasm crashed over my skin in bursts of electric pleasure. Mouth open, a sigh whooshing through me, I came just as quickly as he did, pumping my orgasm into his mouth. He gagged hard and yanked himself away, but my hand in his hair kept him down there and I pumped come all over his perfect, flawless face. It was more gorgeous than I thought it would be.

I let Jaejoong go and he fell to the floor with a whimper. His entire body shook, every bit of skin I could see was red with shame. I kept my hand on my cock, stroking hard. A late bead of come pearled from the tip and dripped down the crown.

"Feel good?" I asked.

He didn't reply, curling his arms around his body. Part of me felt a little guilty, but only part of me. The rest of me wanted more. I chuckled and crawled over him. He kept his face hidden from me. I kissed his neck. His cock was still hard. I lightly gripped it, stroking slow.

"Wanna do it again?" I asked.

He held his breath for a moment. And then he looked up. There were tears in his eyes, but a feral gleam of lust. He nodded.

"B-but you can't tell, you can't ... this ... this ..."

I smirked and slammed our lips together. In a scrambled mess of hands, we undressed each other. Jaejoong's moans increased and his cock twitched and pulsed. I had a feeling he was going to come in about three seconds again.

I tore away from his lips and said, "I'm about to take your virginty, because I need a cock in my ass right now. Any complaints?"

His eyes went wide. I sucked on two of my own fingers. His eyes went impossibly wider. "C-Changmin, I ... "

"Yes or no?" I demanded. I forced my fingers into my ass and sighed, sitting back and then rolling my hips forward.

He stared at me in shock.

"I'd prefer to have your cock, but I can come like this too. Splatter it all over your body. Want that?"

He bit down on his lower lip and then his cheeks flushed.

"I don't mind. You have no idea how sexy you are, Jaejoong, god." I shut my eyes. "Fuck me, Jae. Please. This is hot, but I want you, I need you to fuck me."

"O-okay."

With a smirk, I scooted back and leaned down, back to his cock. My mouth filled with saliva and I coated him thoroughly, trying not to make him come again. I had lube in my bag, but I had a feeling that if I went to look for it, Jaejoong would change his mind. He reached for my hair. I batted his hand away with an impatient noise. I wasn't prepped enough, but I didn't give a fuck. It'd been weeks since I last bent over Professor Kim's desk.

I straddled Jaejoong's waist. Holding him tightly, I held his cock up and pushed it against my entrance. We both moaned as I swiped the head around my wet cleft. He gasped, fingers clutching my hips. I sat, impaling myself, wincing at the stretch.

"Changmin!" His hips jerked up on reflex, burying himself inside me all at once. Yeah, his cock wasn't big enough, but it'd do for now.

I fell forward, hands landing on his chest. I rose up and down, over and over until we settled in a sloppy rhythm. His mouth stayed open in surprise, his eyes bulging. He shuddered and whimpered and froze. A heavy spasm coursed through him. He came hard, body curling up, fingernails digging into my skin.

I put my hand on my cock and stroked roughly, riding him faster. The temperature in the room rose and Jaejoong's whimpers echoed around us again. I needed it harder. Much harder.

I yanked away from him and kneeled. "Fuck me, Jae. Fuck me as hard as you can." I stroked myself faster, waiting impatiently for him to get to his knees. He said my name in awe and then his cock proded my body.

I thrust back and he thrust forward with another cry and he slammed into me. Still eratic, crazy, hard. No finesse, but I didn't need finesse. I moaned into the carpet and pulled at my own hair as another orgasm rolled through me, teasing. I spread my legs, changing the angle, and Jaejoong cried out my name. He fucked me harder.

Just what I needed.

My vision blurred, my head went light and it felt like I was thrown across the room when I came. I covered the floor in come.

It took me a moment to steady my breathing. Jaejoong was still fucking me, his breath harsh, his hands slipping over my sweating hips.

"This ... so ... feels so good," he stammered.

I smirked and tightened the muscles in my lower body. He almost screamed, and when I met his thrusts with my own, rocking back on his cock, he was coming again in moments.

We fell to the floor in a sweaty pile.

Jaejoong looked blown and confused.

I laughed, pulled his face to mine and kissed him. "Weren't you doing Chemistry homework?"

Jaejoong moaned and swatted my arm. "You do it for me."

"What? Why?"

"You said before. Who you had to bribe to get a blowjob. Well, you got more than that. And now you can do my chemistry homework."

I laughed and kissed his cheek. "Fine. It's a deal. But you came in my ass twice so you have to do my History homework."

He made a face, and then to my surprise, his fingers slipped into my worn entrance. He pulled them out, sticky with white come. I grabbed his wrist and sucked on them.

"On second thought," Jaejoong said, "let's do this again."

I laughed and rolled us over so I could ride his cock again.

After that, it was like this floodgate opened. I don't know why, but for some reason, I was suddenly getting sex and blowjobs all over the place. Maybe because I was walking a little taller, or looked more inviting. I don't know. It's like I had this neon sign that said "I will suck your cock" flashing above my head. I know Jaejoong didn't tell anyone; he had too much to lose if his family found out he liked fucking my ass.

About three weeks after our first time together, Jaejoong walked into our room and found me riding some older student's cock.

It was pretty comical, the way his eyes widened in surprise. He bit his lower lip, and then looked away.

"Hi, Jae," I said, gasping.

The student smacked me lightly and told me to pay attention. God, what was his name? I couldn't remember.

Jaejoong disappeared in the bathroom.

I forgot about him until I was done, the other student gone and I went to the bathroom to clean up.

Jaejoong was bent over the sink, fingers clutching the marble counter. He cut off his crying and hastily wiped his eyes, surprised again. A tiny tendril of guilt shot through me. Maybe Jaejoong thought we were boyfriends. Maybe he ... I frowned as our eyes met. I knew heartache when I saw it, god, did I know heartache, but why was Jaejoong staring at me like that?

It's not like I had done to him what Yoochun had done to me. I never told Jaejoong I loved him. We didn't date, and I did nothing but let him fuck me.

I thought about it for a moment longer, and then shrugged it all away. Jaejoong would just have to deal with it.

"Do you want to help me with my calculus homework?" I asked as I climbed in the shower.

Part of me thought that Jaejoong would press the issue, demand things that I refused to give him. I would never ever let someone else close to me like I had with Yoochun. I'd never trust anyone again. Sex felt good, and that's all it was.

I heard Jaejoong inhale shakily and clear his throat. "Y-yeah. Yeah. I'll help you."

I smirked as I ducked my head in the spray of water. Our study sessions always ended in sex.


End file.
